Spiritual

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Heart Update

Published Friday, 25 May 2012 by Sydney Sunny

Sorry for the recent lack of posts! I have had more adventures but I am so tired that I haven’t written about them yet!

Also, it is hard for me to find heart. I write my blog for me to remember my adventure and share my pictures. So, I hate to write too much boring stuff about my heart, but my heart is troubled by where I am. I have only a month left in France. I cannot believe it. I have grown and changed ( fatter and wiser). Believe it or not, I am not as shy as I use to be, but I am still the shy girl on the street.

My pink shoes are too much for most people in Amiens.

 

Here is my trouble:
A few days ago, I was showing my friend around Amiens. I group of younger kids asked us for a smoke as they yelled and laughed at us. Then the girl had the nerve to tell me that she disapproved of my outfit. She disliked my pink plaid skirt, but she thought my piink shoe would look great in a black dress. My friend and I were shocked. We walked away to the cathedral talking it over. I couldn’t believe what just happened to me. Just the other day a boy came up to me asking if I wanted to have a “coffee date”, and I was wearing the same skirt.

In Amiens I’ve never felt comfortable wearing color. I learned this very soon. But, even in my darker colors, people point me out. One of my first days in Amiens, boys called out to me, “Moche! Moche!” Which I understand, it is the word for “ugly”.

When I went to teach at a middle school, I made the mistake to wear a pink sweater. I thought nothing of it. The teacher thought I looked very young, and the students were a bit shocked by my color choice. Afterwards, I often wore my black sweater and skirts.

My only relief was in the winter. I had a huge black coat that hid all of my colors and frills. When I had to walk to the Paris train to go to a lolita event, I never worried. I always was cover with just my cute, bright pink shoes sticking out.

My favorite pink dress is spending many wonderful days in Paris but not in Amiens.

Now, it is summer and my hiding has come to an end. I once walked to the station to find a group taking pictures of me with a laugh and others asking rude questions.

So, I adapted. I never wear color in Amiens anymore. In Paris, I am comfortable. The people never mind if I am a rainbow or night sky. But Amiens is a small town with the limited view on fashion as colorless. I have see people with colors, but they are often not pink.
I end up spending my days inside, eating junk food, and my window open. See, no matter how hard I try, I am always picked out in the crowd. I’ve worn long skirts, short skirts, black, white, colors, gray, makeup,  and no makeup, and I am always pointed out. I am pointed out by watching eyes, men yelling to be my boyfriend, honking horns, or given fashion tips by strangers (that is only once).
I’m tired of  it. Worn out.
I just want to be “normal” for a day. But, this is the price I pay for being foreign. I do not look local – even if I wore all H&M or ZARA clothing. I am tall, and I am blond. I am easy to spot and easier to trick once they know I’m English.

However, the interesting side is, I’ve met a lot of nice people in Amiens. They are helpful and kind to me. These people, I imagine, are more traveled and cultured then the average Amiens local. I have not ever regretted living in France for a year. I have had my share of fun and wonderful people! Which trumps all the snobby people who gave me grief. I know people from every corner of the world, friends, dear ones.

Ah, Paris!
Paris is a different story. People are happy to see me. A family once asked if they could take a picture of me with their daughter. People smile and are happy to see me. There are friends and stores and parties. Honesty, when I return to Amiens, I am a bit sad. I walk by the cathedral to cheer me up, but it is a long walk back to where I live.

I have one more month in Amiens. I will be happy to bid the rude and dull people “a dieu”. I will be sad to leave the wonderful cathedral and roads I’ve come to know, but that is part of the leaving. I leave for the good and for the bad. Then, I will spend a few blissful days in Paris with my dear friends.
I don’t know how much I’ve changed. I have to be ready for my hard road ahead of return home in the USA.

So as you can see, I’ve go a lot on my emotion radar. I am stressed about my return, packing cleaning, people yelling at me, trains, and money. I am trying to enjoy my last bit of France even in the worries and stress.

I like to draw girls in lolita or cute outfits. I put a lot of detail in their outfits as if I was going to wear it. This is called “Sunny Doodle“.

To be busy:

So, I have some movies to watch: Gone with the WindDaVinci CodeSecret Book of Kells, and Persepolis.
Also, YouTube Channel: “Eat Your Kimchi
Also, the K-drama: Queen In Hyun’s Man
 Also, read: Elinor Jones, L’infirmerie Apres les Cours, Harry Potter, and Monet
Also, blogging here and with Totoro.
Also, drawing.

This was a wonderful day! All of my dear friends together for some deco-den in Paris. I have had so many happy, sunny days!

Most important, I have a “rendez-vous” at a lolita picnic – “Pique Nique et Tombola anniversaire des associations Rouge Dentelle & Rose Ruban et du Chemin de Briques Roses pour leurs 3 ans“. I am so excited to be part of a French community! I fully support Rouge Dentelle & Rose Ruban! I will continue to support them when I return to the USA. Because, it is with the fashion, the color, and love (that I am laughed at in Amiens) is how I made friends who have so much love.

What do you do when people do not like who you are? even if you try to be “normal” and they still continue?
Do you like to watch movies, read books, or draw to feel better?

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Beauty – be not caused – It is.

Published Thursday, 17 May 2012 by Sydney Sunny

“Beauty is not caused. It is.” -Emily Dickinson

As an introduction I want to say, I was often annoyed with my photo class; however, it was one of my best classes here in France. The teacher always told us to make something or build something and take pictures of it. So, He wanted us to make something happen then take a picture of it. I, personally, prefer waiting. I love to go for a walk and find the sun at a perfect angle on the dew drop. I am not the one to go to a field with a eye dropper to make dew. This is who I am. I am a natural photographer. When I make something, I do take pictures to preserve the idea in the future. However, if I had the choice, the made object would be displayed as itself not a photo. Thus, the class pushed me to go past my comfort zone, and that is why I enjoyed it.
For my last project, the project was called “Les Mots”. The subject had to be words. I found a poem by Emily Dickinson that said what I felt during the class’s projects.

It is written in French because it was a French course, so forgive the simple language. – translation and explanation below.’


Beauté – être pas causé – Elle Est –

La chasser, et elle cesse –
La chase pas, et elle demeure –

Dépasser les plis

Dans le pré – lorsque le vent
Exécute ses doigts a travers elle-
Divinité veillera à ce
Que vous n’avez jamais le faire –
Emily Dickinson

Les photo dit – <<Beauty is not caused. It Is. >>   Ou  <<Beauté n’est pas causé. Elle est. >>

L’art est la beauté. On fait l’art, et on veut l’art avoir la beauté. C’est simple. Non, la beauté est différente pour chaque personne. Une personne verra la beauté, l’autre ne verra rien. Chaque jour, elle change. Dans le monde de mode, elle change très rapide. La beauté d’aujourd’hui ne sera rien dans les années.
La beauté qui est belle toujours est la nature. On ne fait pas. On veut la copie. La nature change, mais c’est la même chose chaque année : Le printemps- les fleurs colorées, l’été – l’arbre vert, l’automne – les feuilles colorées, l’hiver- la neige blanche. La nature est belle.

English//

Beauty — be not caused — It Is —

Chase it, and it ceases —
Chase it not, and it abides —

Overtake the Creases

In the Meadow — when the Wind
Runs his fingers thro’ it —
Deity will see to it
That You never do it —

Art is beauty. One makes art and wants it to be beautiful. It is simple. Not really. Beauty is different to each person. One person will see beauty, and the other will not. Everyday, beauty changes. In fashion, it changes quickly. What is beautiful today is not beautiful tomorrow.
The only beauty that is beautiful forever is nature. One can not make it. One wants to copy it. However, nature does change, but it is the same every year: Spring – colorful flowers, Summer- green trees, Fall- colorful leaves, and Winter- white snow. Nature is beauty.

//

I don’t think the teacher got my rebellious message, but rather my love for Emily Dickinson and nature.
What I meant was, I understand we have different ideas of beauty, but I appreciated your view and the other students’ work. But personally, I’m a bit of an old school girl. I love old artists more then modern artist. I like the “beaux arts” not the “art plastique”. Also, I prefer to take pictures of natural situations.

Don’t misjudge the teacher. He was really nice and slow with me! And, I got wonderful grades in this class.
And that is why I liked it. I was a challenge, but I still kept the sense of me.

Enjoy.

Movement

Published Thursday, 10 May 2012 by Sydney Sunny

After the rain came  the afternoon sun. Marine took Yumi and me on a walk to the near by beach. The walk was so nice after eating lunch. We walked to a little harbor for boats, and we continued across a bridge to the beach.

In the harbor, where the light changed in every wind blow.

The sun  was dancing in the water because of the wind. And once on the beach, the movement of the waves, light, and wind became a dance. I remember mostly the movement- our dresses blowing in the wind, running away from the waves, climbing on the rocks, walking in the sand.

The crashing waves behind us never got us.

I have somehow lost my pictures on my computer of the day. I hope, they are just out of sight, not lost. But, I have Marine’s pictures. Her camera takes multiple pictures and seems to catch every movement. I made these gif. of movement from the time on the beach.

Marine didn’t make the picture on time.

Marine made the picture in time.

It is hard for me to imagine that just behind me -respectably- is my home. My home far, far away from there on that beach. How can the world feel so small and large at the same time? Now, this, this is a different kind of movement- a movement of awe and wonder.

So small and large.

The Bunnies and the Eggs say Happy Easter

Published Sunday, 8 April 2012 by Sydney Sunny

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

I bought this stuffed Lindt bunny because I can never eat a really chocolate bunny! I can only eat the eggs!

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…”1 Peter 1:3

Baby the Star Shine Bight's mini mini bag. She carries my metro tickets!

“I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philippians 3:10-12 

My Bunny bag from Baby the Stars Shine Bright has seen both Christmas and Easter in France. Very special!!

“Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” Romans 6:8-11

My tiny Tea Bunny. He is very sweet!

“And he [angel] said to them, “Do not be amazed; you are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who has been crucified. He has risen; He is not here; behold, here is the place where they laid Him.” Mark 16:6

This is the Egg Princess my friend gave me from Studio Ghibli from her trip to Tokyo. She was the star of the short film shown at the museum only! I think she is perfect for Easter!

 

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.” John 3:16-17

 

Today, I have dresses up in my new Baby the Stars Shine Bright “Easter” dress – Dessert OP in Pink and later I plan to clean my room as spring is a nice time to clean more! ❤

Have a wonderful Easter!

March into Spring

Published Wednesday, 21 March 2012 by Sydney Sunny

Yesterday was the official first day of Spring! That is very exciting!
I hope to have a post up soon about some great adventures I’ve had in Paris, but I am quite behind! Instead, I thought I would share my first day of Spring.
Yesterday was a little chilly but with a blue sky. I went to the library, the 2nd hand store, and Notre Dame d’Amiens.

Library Haul

The library in Amiens is very nice, at least to me. I have been lacking a great library where I live, so I love using it. Even though, I don’t check out many books, comics, or manga like when I first arrived in Amiens, I still love to go for the movies and CDs!
The selection of movies was not as good this time but I got a few good movies: Bright Star, HairSpray, Mes Voisins les Yamada (My Neighbors, the Yamadas– Studio Ghibli).
And for the CD’s, I got ton: Gone with the Wind, Forest Gump, True Grit, Walk the Line, West Side Story, and The Nutcracker.

In the 2nd hand store I went looking for Harry Potter. I lack only the last book to finish my collection of the Harry Potter series in French. I might have to pay full price in the end.

My Book haul!

Like always, I found something else instead of Harry Potter. I found a book in English! Innocent Traitor is a book I think I have wanted to read. It should be good. And also, I could not leave Le Cite de l’Ombre (The City of Umber) behind after I picked it up and could read it in French. My French reading skills are improving quickly! These books together came to the grand total of 3 Euros. I can afford that if I walk instead of using the bus this week – which I always do!

Nave of Notre Dame d'Amiens

The doors were wide open for the first time in a long time to welcome in the nice Spring air.

Because I was going to the library, I left my nice camera behind. But I took a few snap shots with my little camera!

Gothic Lolita: Princess d'Aujord'hui

Finally, I came back from my adventures to an another book! I ordered Gothic Lolita: Princess d’Aujord’hui illustrated by François Amoretti. This book, published in 2009, is old news for the lolitas in France, but it is new and exciting for me! I was so amazed to see a book dedicated to the fashion of lolita in a correct way! Also, François Amoretti seems quite famous in the lolita community in France! His art is whimsical in the book. I hope to make a nice review.
I learned today François Amoretti will be present at the Lolita Convention on Monday, July 9th. I hope I can meet him and have my book signed!

I hope to do more posts in the future! I am very much behind! ❤ Till then, Princesses

Finding Gold not Glitter

Published Sunday, 8 January 2012 by Sydney Sunny

One day before Christmas after my friends had left, I was alone. I wondered between the masses of people in the center of the city. Suddenly, among the large crowd of people, among the festive lights, and among the shops, I felt alone. Before I studied abroad, alone had a different feeling. I was alone. It is painful to be somewhere and not be able to express to anyone correctly your feelings with your native tongue. Was it my fault? My mind did the only thing it could do, it blamed its self.
Right as I began to talk down to myself, I looked up.

A rainbow above Amiens with the the beautiful clock and Notre Dame d'Amiens

Behold a rainbow, the promise of God to not forsake men.
Stopping my negative thinking, I moved on to my blessings to be in France. The luster of “living” in France left many months ago. France is amazing but your troubles follow. I know completely my faults and strengths because I came to France -alone. So France is gold, but it doesn’t “glitter” perfect anymore.
And I wonder, I wonder…

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. – Tolkien